excel: alpha code to numbers

I use an annoying program that labels its output A..Z, AA..AZ, BA … rather than numerically from 1. This is annoying, as a spreadsheet won’t sort it correctly (it does A, AA, AB …). The following code will convert this code to the right numbers, assuming your alpha code is in cell B3:

=IF(LEN(B3)=1,CODE(B3)-64,26*(CODE(B3)-64)+CODE(RIGHT(B3))-64)

This will only work for codes of two characters or less, and is case sensitive.

scissors, shears, geddit?!

where alpha is scissors

The presenter of this paper claimed that PowerPoint changed α, the wind shear coefficient, to ✂. We laughed, briefly.