malicious deomnibusation of maternal relative’s maternal relative strictly forbidden

culled from memory, and several versions floating about on the net:

YE CANNAE SHOVE YER GRANNY AFF A BUS

Tune: She’ll be coming round the mountain
Lyrics: possibly by Matt McGinn, or Robin Hall and Jimmy McGregor

Oh ye cannae shove yer granny aff a bus,
Oh ye cannae shove yer granny aff a bus,
Ye cannae shove yer granny
For she’s yer mammy’s mammy,
Ye cannae shove yer granny aff a bus.

chorus:
Singing: I wull, if you wull, so wull I
I wull, if you wull, so wull I
Singing: I wull, if you wull
I wull, if you wull
I wull, if you wull, so wull I

Ye can shove yer ither granny aff a bus,
Ye can shove yer ither granny aff a bus,
Ye can shove yer ither granny
‘Cos she’s yer faither’s mammy
Ye can shove yer ither granny aff a bus.

Ye can shove yer Uncle Wullie aff a bus,
Ye can shove yer Uncle Wullie aff a bus,
Uncle Wullie’s like yer faither
A harum-scarum blether,
Ye can shove yer Uncle Wullie aff a bus.

Ye can shove yer Auntie Maggie aff a bus,
Ye can shove yer Auntie Maggie aff a bus,
Auntie Meg’s yer Faither’s sister,
She’s naethin’ but a twister,
Ye can shove yer Auntie Maggie aff a bus.

But ye cannae shove yer granny aff a bus,
Ye cannae shove yer granny aff a bus,
O ye cannae shove yer granny,
‘Cos she’s yer mammy’s mammy,
O ye cannae shove yer granny aff a bus.

Glossary
blether: gossip
harum-scarum: scatterbrain, random
twister: liar
ither: other
naethin’: nothing

1 comment

  1. Follow On To Canny Shove Yer Grannie

    Well I sent her fur eggs, oh then, oh then,
    I sent her fur eggs, oh then,
    Well I sent her fur eggs,
    An’ she fell an’ broke ‘er legs,
    Oh the world must be comin’ tae an end,
    …Och aye.

    Well I sent her fur cheese, oh then, oh then,
    I sent her fur cheese, oh then,
    Well I sent her fur cheese,
    An’ she fell an’ skint her knees,
    Oh the world must be comin’ tae an end,
    …Och aye.

    Well I sent her fur breid, oh then, oh then,
    Ah sent her fur breid, oh then,
    Well I sent her fur breid,
    An’ she drappit doon an’ deid,
    Oh the world must be comin’ tae an end
    …Och ay.

    The wife she died, oh then, oh then,
    The wife she died, oh then,
    The wife she died, an’ ah damp’t near cried,
    Fur noo ah wis single again,
    …Och aye.
    ….

    …….Ah mairrit anither,oh then, oh then,
    Ah mairrit anither,oh then,
    Ah mairrit anither, she’s worse than the other,
    An’ ah long tae be single again,
    …….Och aye!

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