If you’d told me even six months ago that I’d be scooting a quarter litre of warm saline up my nose every night, I’d be all like, â€œyeah, chinny reckonâ€. But sadly, and this may be heading into TMI territory, it’s true.
For many years, my nose wasn’t much more than decorative. Too blocked to provide a useful means of breathing or sensing smells, it got only occasional use as a sunglasses bracket. It also had unpleasant nocturnal habits, ones best not described here.
A month or so ago, I decided I’d had enough. I went to the pharmacy and got one of those squeezy bottle things that comes with the little sachets of salt+bicarb. I can smell again! I can actually use my nose for breathing!!
Those two benefits are pretty awesome, but the whole process isn’t a bed of roses:
- yeah, you really need to do the kha-kha-kha thing with your throat, unless you like aspirating saline.
- every night, it still feels a little like drowning, and hasn’t really got any better.
- A sinus can still surprise up to an hour later, when an unexpected head tilt can produce a deluge too large for any tissue.
- if the water’s too cold, it feels like being stabbed in the head. From the inside.
- I’m much more in touch with my mucus than I want to be, and far, far more than you’d want me to be. I mean seriously, some of the things that I get out … well, let’s just say I’ve measured from nostrils to bronchi, and these luminous sinus puppies would easily stretch that far.
- The results are nothing like the video. They’re all serene, like they’re getting their Deva Premal on; me, I’m left snotty and spluttering.
So, it works for me. But we’re all glad that I’m not sharing the details, aren’t we?