Lentil Soup


  • 6 cups vegetable stock (or 3 veggie stock cubes + 6 cups water)
  • 3-4 medium onions, chopped roughly
  • 4-6 medium carrots; half chopped roughly, half grated
  • 2 cups red split lentils
  • 4-6 tbsp olive oil
  • 2 tbsp baking soda (for soaking lentils)

Optional ingredients

  • 1 tbsp prepared Dijon mustard
  • 1 tbsp sweet paprika

Lentil Preparation

  • Rinse and drain lentils at least three times: they should no longer clump, and rinse water should not be very cloudy
  • Soak lentils in water with baking soda for at least an hour, occasionally stirring gently
  • Rinse lentils and soak for at least an hour in clean water; drain.


  1. Bring stock to a boil in a large pot. Add grated/chopped carrots and half the olive oil
  2. Fry onions in the rest of the olive oil until translucent, optionally with paprika
  3. Add fried onions to soup pot. Stir in Dijon mustard, if desired
  4. Cover and allow to low boil for 5-10 minutes
  5. Stir in drained lentils, and bring to a robust simmer
  6. Cover and simmer for 15 minutes.
  7. Serve and season to taste.


  • This is based on my parents’ various lentil soup recipes from Scotland. They might use a ham or lamb-bone based stock
  • Until recently, I’d been overcooking the lentils. Red split lentils are quite delicate, and soaking and lightly simmering gives a pleasing result
  • The soaking in baking soda stage helps to de-gas the lentils

Recipe: Hurled Eggs

From Phil Austen’s The Big Jewel:



Submitted by: Tandom Koolzip of Peeorhea, Indianolapolis

“This is a recipe that was tossed to me by someone claiming to be my grandmother.”

Preparation time: Instantaneous


Someone to throw eggs at

That’s all she wrote. In old-fashioned script.