i remember that ben elton back when he was funny

Mr Butcher: [sits down on a bollard, then jumps up in disgust] Eurgh, I’ve just sat on something horrible and smelly!
Mr Baker: What was it?
Mr Butcher: My bottom.

– and that, kids, was the essence of alternative comedy.

Rolser shopping cart

My late grandmother’s intense dislike of them notwithstanding, it looks like a shopping cart from Rolser Canada could be just the thing for the carfree-about-town. Lugging shopping bags about is teh suk.

The intensely tony Pepper Mill in Hazelton Lanes seems to be the stockist for Toronto.