car bong

A large chrome hash pipe has lain in the rather obsessively manicured lot of a local Ford dealer for the last few days. It looks almost, but not quite, like lawn-sprinkler hardware or piece of hydraulics from an SUV. I wonder when they’ll notice it?

let’s get confused

Clay County Absentee Ballot 2004
No wonder folks in the USA get confused with ballot papers — there are just too many choices.

UK ballot papers are super-simple: list of candidates down the left, list of checkboxes down the right. More than one issue? More than one ballot paper. It’s not hard.

co-transiteers annoyance

Two new annoying fellow travellers on the GO train yesterday:

  • The Clipper: she took about 10 minutes to get her nails just right … clip, clip, tick, clip … am I the only one who finds that kinda gross? I felt like making kapweeng! kapweeng! ricochet noises to go with it
  • The Thumper: Take a Stompin’ Tom Connors record. Remove the vocals and instrumental accompaniment. Slow it down 200 times. That’s what this youth was doing with his right foot: thump … thump …  … thump …  …  … thump … thump. He kept checking around to see if he was getting a rise out of anyone.

Being the consummate commuter of course, I abided by the first law of transit annoyances: Sit there and do nothing, for cowardice is a virtue.

banjo blues

I’m kinda stuck with my banjo playing. I can frail away an adequate Shady Grove, but — despite what my teacher Chris Coole says — I just don’t have the confidence to learn new songs from a book or CD.

I get home late and tired, and very often the banjo gets neglected. This isn’t good. I enjoy playing, but I think everyone around me would appreciate it if I got some new tunes.

No sign of peace, order or good government here

From the livejournal of giantlaser, a contractor in Iraq:

  • We have 10 guards on staff at all times. They live with us. They are Kurdish, from areas 200-400 km north. They have no local loyalties at all – no friends, no family, no one to apply pressure here. While it is always possible they could be compromised, it is far less likely.
  • We have house staff to do all local things we need, like run the generators, shop, fuel the cars, etc.
  • When we leave, the guards sweep the street and secure the immediate area.
  • We are armed at all times. On foot, with a pistol. In a car, with an AK-47 as well.
  • We now take two cars with at least 3 guards. And we’ve appointed the most experienced and capable guards as our personal ones.

Doesn’t sound much like ensuring/enduring freedom or democracy to me.

the word “bummer”

WordReference used to have all the Collins dictionaries available online, for free browsing. I was the main dictionary computing guy at Collins when this deal was made, and it was pretty cool to have a good, non-US English dictionary on the web.

I gues the money has run out, as the Collins data has disappeared, and the English dictionary is derived from WordNet. While I think that WordNet‘s a worthy project, it doesn’t quite compare to the Collins English Dictionary.

Oh well, it was good to know you, WordReference.

bad scene on Kennedy Road

There’s a big do at the Salaheddin Islamic Centre this weekend. It seems that there’s some convention being held by the Muslim Ummah of North America. Yesterday, there was a small but very heated demonstration, with a group of people being very opposed to a particular person being present. Obligatory placards, shouting and police cars; you know the deal.

I still haven’t been able to work out what this was about. If I find out more, I’ll post it.

Repeatedly stabbing myself in the eye with a hot poker

s_OlympukesLight2.png
… would be more fun than following the Olympics.

Seriously, if there’s anyone out there who thinks that the Limping Games is anything other than a cash grab for synthetic hormone-enhanced automata, I’d like to meet them — and mock them repeatedly with “You sad old man!” delivered in a scornful faux-Cockney accent.

Take the 400m race, for instance. If I stayed in exactly the same place, I’d be back where I started 43.18 seconds before the world record holder, and what’s more, I wouldn’t even be remotely out of breath. And we give medals to people who run round in circles? Jings!

The above image is a glyph from the Olympukes Light free font from fontshop. It speaks to my condition.